When I was in my 20s, I would get asked a lot of questions from a lot of people. I never understood why, but didn’t really care. A lot of times, it would be girls asking abou relationship advice…and those questions confused me even more.

Anyone who knew me at the time recognized I was not a success in that aspect of life. As a youth, I ran with pretty boys and playboys. Since I was neither one of those, I was stuck in a limbo-world of knowledge with no experience.

But I digress and return to the point at hand…

My lack of experience and first-hand knowledge led my younger self to believe himself capable of outlining some major points about relationships for the benefit of all. It could be used as a reference for anyone headed for trouble from someone firmed rooted within.

Playing “The Game”

You all know what game I’m talking about. You’re interested. She’s intersted and you both flirt, play around and generally waste time that could be sent constructively.

OK, let me say this right now – I try to avoid ‘the game’ as much as possible. I mean obviously, you have to start playing at the beginning: Introductions, exchanging phone info, the first ‘contact’ (usually 48 to 72 hours after procurement or Wednesday/Thursday to plan for Friday/Saturday).

Regardless, it’s all a big theatrical act, or better seen as a poker game. Who’s going to bet first, who’s going to show their hand and who is bluffing. But on that same note, once you’ve both made your bets, discarded and gotten your cards back, there’s no need to raise the odds.

The longer you play the game, the larger the pot gets, the more important the cards you have in your hand better be.

Let me get out of examples and explain in simple text. The longer you wait, the more serious it gets. No person in their right mind will be thinking long-term after two weeks. But after four to six months…

OK, now what?

So y’all are together? Congratulations! You have the best looking guy on the block and you’re wondering how you’re going to keep him? Well, there’s one obvious answer but even that isn’t a true guarantee for anything beyond exactly that. However, there is something to be said for an aggressive woman who knows what she wants and how to get it.

While that may be my personal preference, some guys like their significant other to be passive and docile. But you’ll never find out unless you ask. And I don’t mean a group chat discussion withy your friends, whether in person or over (enter your preferred social media app here).

Women shouldn’t fear approaching their man and asking what they want. Most guys will come flat out and tell you. If he’s hemming and hawing, try doing something slightly seductive like kissing on his finger tips to enduce an answer.

Yes, it’s blatantly sexual and slightly domineering; but it will definitely put you in control.

 

Dare I Go There?

I guess I might as well. Let’s start by saying the first kiss is always the toughest barrier. After than, it’s just reading the eyes. Most girls’ eyes will dialate or you will get ‘the stare’. The appropriate sports analogy is a 3-0 pitch and the coach has given you the green light.

Just remember, you have to be looking into her eyes at the time. Seriously, that’s why I think some guys remain in the majors with annual invitations to the All-Star Game while others are stuck in the minors, serioulsly considering selling bathroom drywall.

Sticking with baseball, take the late Hall of Fame outfielder Tony Gwynn for example. Before one of his games, a couple of low-minor league teams were playing. Instead of staying the clubhouse, Gwynn sat in the dugout, trying to see if he could learn something from players well below his skill level. The moral of the story is: pay attention to details. That’s how the best stay ahead of the rest.

Please note the bulk of these words were written by a collegiate virgin who ended dates with 19 – – and edited by a man married for the past 12 years, so take everything with a cow-sized salt lick. But looking back, the overall notions proposed aren’t bad and that’s the truth.