I had my eye on her…

No, I have a game show fetish.

I constantly remind myself to watch “$100,000 Pyramid” on Game Show Network. So one day I’m going to class and I see a flyer.

”Are you an expert at Jeparody!?”

Self-absorbed and with bravado, I marched into a tryout for the Portland State College Knowledge Bowl 2000 team. The first day I felt and showed the same attitude as the tryout and finished with flair.

But the next day, I saw the ringer – Jack.

A political cartoonist and a graduate student, he was amazing. That and the questions got harder. Needless to say, I still made the team, filling the 5th seat on the first team.

Coach decided my expertise was sports, music, pop culture, African-American history. He forgot ancient history and Greek mythology, but I’m getting away form the point.

There was the coach’s helper. A blonde named Serena who reminded me of a thinner, no, younger version of Angie with bigger tits. I think I’ve gotta fetish for something else too…

So one day, she rocks a 4:20 shirt. So another day, I go,

”You wanna catch a late 4:20?”

A whispered response. “You have?”

“Yeah, come one. I’ll give you a ride home. I’m right down the block anyway.”

After she asked permission and got $20 from Coach, we walked outside.

”Can you keep a secret?”

”Who do I have to tell?”

”Yeah. Um, well, I don’t even go here. I don’t even have my GED. I’m only 17.”

The first thought in my mind is,

”YOU’RE ILLEGAL!”

I told her so in the car. She passed the joint and said,

”Well, I”m lesbian.”

I was still thinking,

”YOU’RE ILLEGAL!”

When I started to tell her again, she dropped a Jerry Springer episode on me.

Let’s see. We were nearing the two-year anniversary of her best friend’s rape and murder. She’s mentally blocked out the year she probably (it’s known) stayed in the mental ward. She’s been abducted before and everyone hates her and all I’m going is how in the hell do I run into these people?

I mean, a fucked up story is a fucked up story. And it’s clearly the people she associated with. I look at her, this 17-year old, nervous and talkative stoner, and I can see her problem and give her a feasible ancedote in less than two hours.

But when I show her the pill, she insists she wants to stay where she is. And I think, you’re only 17. Moving out on your own isnt’ a feasible thing right now…

She’s definitely a stoner and she only got $20, so I front her a bag. I guess you could say this is the test. She’s got a couple of friends who look for weight and I’m looking for some recruits to step up and serve , so she gets the digits.

It’s really a test cuz I don’t take her number. But as she nervously shakes out of the car, I’m thinking,

Angie had that same shirt.