There are moments. Moments in time when you can look back and wonder what if.

It’s a horrible game to play because there is no winner except for Father Time, who’s undefeated.

It’s all allegory and fancy talk to say that you only live for one life to live for it all each and every moment.

Which leads us back to the beginning.

It was a self-imposed sentence. Banished a distance close to the home actions forced a hasty exit from for the betterment of all; I was alone in a rectangle and a square.

Not the self descriptive Box or 3 Hots & a Cot that a true prison is, but an isolation with tepid actions to truly not be alone. Revealing in jogs around the same stretch of real estate, passing hotels and strip malls, townhomes, geese and take out restaurants.

This was the initial investment in self, one that was peaked by a silly challenge that became a lifestyle worth adopting. But it was all meaningless when opportunity presented itself…

I declared 2019 the Set Up Year; that kids better buy my rookie card now, cuz after this year, the price ain’t going down.

I backed that up in so many ways.

The jogs turned into challenging the Beltline and Piedmont Park in a November rain storm to complete a 10K and qualify.

The living space morphed, inverting the rectangle and moving its location into the heart of the city.

The downtown that the fame & success of the suburbs seems to forget until they’re in need of.

In need of space for a party, a park, a picnic.

In need of a meal with a chain name, a special take, a local place.

In need of a position of power, a position of justice, a position of employment.

It was into this final phrase that the powers put all their might, reviving a position that was denied despite my peaked and professed preference.

The result was only another reason to believe in the premise, believe in investing in the rookie, but what wasn’t obvious until now is that it was only asking for believe in myself.

I spent the year is disbelief, doubting that my success could truly be my own, only expecting Lucy to pull the ball away as I attempted yet another kick for the ages.

But there’s nothing to laugh at when pieces fall into place.

When moving parts move in an ideal direction, isn’t it wise to move with the tide? To allow the natural motions to guide one along, letting others do the work while you claim the credit?

It sounds crass, but can I not believe that if I orchestrate the actions of others to my benefit, then sit back and play my hand against whatever is thrown, can I be surprised when the outcome is beneficial to me, especially if everyone else involved leaves with a smile?

I could smile and think of all that wasn’t done in the name of caution. All the times that instead of pushing against the grain, it was easier to relent and lean back. Was that just a 2019 thing, something for a time now lost forever to an undefeated foe?

What is to be taken from looking upon the brick foundation that is Harvard, buried into the soil with a time stamp that sounds out as you walk the hallowed halls and watch silly distractions like a golden toe instead of the museum of everything that exists essentially a stone’s throw from your freshman dorm.

Anything more than to believe in yourself; that any idea seems silly until proven to be so. Otherwise, it may be the story you don’t properly tell since instead of doing, you didn’t.

It means sometimes 2Pac lyrics can inspire, but friendship is more important than disputing the relevancy of fear of the unknown and its effects on the everyday.

I dare you to say I didn’t do the things I have because I ensured multiple witnesses, including an authentic Irish bartender, one who informed me his people don’t appreciate the drink name ‘Black & Tan’.

That I was referring to a Black Velvet, but yet was saying the same thing to him was a lesson in laughter and looking through the eyes of another.

What I see and say is not the same as another, but that’s doesn’t give me the right to disavow the legitimacy of those same see’s and say’s.

What I’m trying to say is…

I went into a bank in Brookline and a man behind a counter attempted to upscale me on concentrates. So to say it’s been a strange time is a slight understatement.